7c Fears - Ghost

Ch.7c. Fears - Ghost

This is the 3rd section of chapter 7 which is about what our fears are.

Introduction.

Another great fear is that we are unseen and unknown; we do not exist as far as another or ourself is concerned.

I call this state, the Ghost. In this state we do not really live, and are not dead either; it is a non-life.

The Ghost wants respect, acknowledgement, to count, to be treated as an individual by the other, ie, to know that it exists.

THE GHOST  (7C)

Definition and attributes.

The best way to define the feeling of 'ghost' is with a list of attributes.

·         Unseen and unknown

·         Unwanted

·         No-thing and no-body and hence,

·         Don't count, and No effect on 'the other';

·         No matter, does anything matter?

·         Feel 'empty', but cannot be filled.  (We are also hungry, but that is dealt with above.)

·         Fear, anger,

·         Judgement and blame,

·         Alone, detachment and separation

·         Boredom,

·         Low energy,

·         Cynicism and greyness; little hope or colour in life. Hence, bleak outlook

·         Don't feel alive, but afraid of death.

The Attributes in Detail.  (7C1)

 In reality these attributes are quite entwined, but separating them out helps to clarify them.

Unseen and unknown.  (6C1a)

There is no intimacy (into-me-see) (with other or with self). There can be no relationship here. Feeling unseen and unknown also kills relationship. We feel as if we have neither face nor voice; does anyone see or hear us? is this our deepest fear? Does anyone take any notice? Even if they say they do, you may not feel that they do. It also makes us feel unsafe, as does being ghostly anyway. So, the fact that we feel ghostly/invisible does not make us feel safe.

Unwanted.   (6C1b)

Feeling wanted is extremely important; if we are invisible how can we be wanted? How many children are really wanted by their parents? How many people want to be wanted?

Nothing and nobody; no-thing and no-body.   (6C1c)

We feel like nothing and nobody, which is actually a fairly deadly emotion and we don't like it, nor do we have a real name for it. It feels like a 'blankness'. What is happening here is a loss of sensation in the body; nothing nice seems to happen either, or nothing excites us (see also boredom). We are losing our feelings, both sensing and emotions. If we can't feel, this leads to no rudders, hence, we can't know what's important to us and end up relying on others to tell us. But, their answers may be wrong for you…..  As we lose our sensations and emotions, we look for 'stronger' stimulation so we can feel something. Greater excitement, risk to self and others, legal and illegal; there is something for everyone.

No 'thing' is actually no 'object'; there is a lack of 'beingness' here, as in, it is not enough to just be; the complaint really is that we cannot 'just be', in that we have no peace here.

Don't count.  (6C1d)

We feel as if we don't count; we are not taken into account; no effect on the other. No-one is interested; nothing I do seems to 'have any effect'. There is no 'weight' here (I've been trying to throw my weight around and that hasn't worked either) (this may have some connection with reasons for people gaining weight; others must take notice). Feeling no 'ground' (very insecure, can't feel secure), and easily 'blown away', as in, upset. 

There are fear, anger and continuing anxiety about having no effect or no control 'out there', either now or in the future.

Great anger and self-pity turn us all into bottomless pits, ie a 'hole' and never 'whole', because there is never enough. The thing is that we cannot feel it when others try to reassure us or to care; nothing can 'fill' us. We don't realise that we are the ones doing this to ourselves. It always looks as though 'the other' is not giving us enough.

Judgement and blame (hence bully/victim), are also here because others 'should' acknowledge me. 'I'll make them notice me, somehow. Now, if I had a gun…'.

No Matter.  (6C1e)

I don't matter; it doesn't matter, what matters?; nothing in life matters to me; does it matter what I do? It doesn't seem to matter to anyone else.

Notice that the ghost is not matter, that's the whole point and complaint. Matter is a very important word. 

Empty.  (6C1f)

We feel empty and Unfilled, the 'hole' bit; not full or satisfied; is that all there is? We may also fear that we can never feel fed, See Fears - Hungry. Feeling hungry gives us neither peace of mind nor rest; we look to consume; we are wanting.

Sometimes the wanting is so great that others can feel that 'pull' from the wanter.  This is happening in a lot of 'sorry for the victim' transactions; but others may simply not have any energy to spare, or not want to give it away in this manner, and will resist the pull from this source of 'neediness'.

We are also 'fed up' (which are interesting words). We are Frustrated ie fear and anger when we can't get what we want, and anxious about any future likelihood of the same. Long term frustration has a lot to do with depression.  (And depression has a great deal to do with the Sup/Inf Caper.)

Alone.  (6C1g)

Singular, don't belong, distant, detached, separated and competing, outcast, no relationships except at chat, gossip or sports-commenting levels (that's why we need 'circuses') [‘Give them bread and circuses' was an old Roman edict for keeping the masses quiet, and hence, well-behaved. We have physical 'bread' for the hungry (mostly), and sports (=circuses) to keep us occupied/entertained.]

Bored.  (6C1h)

We get bored; 'same old, same old'. We can't find things that absorb us for very long; everything wears off. We get tired of new toys; 'there has to be something more exciting out there, but this isn't it'. Peace and Quiet expose the problem of the lack of peace internally because we are wanting/consuming so hard.  Hence we dislike peace and quiet, and will turn to more stimulating/exciting things. We'll 'poke bears' to see what they'll do. See also above, nothing and nobody and losing feeling.

Low Energy.  (6C1i)

No energy coming in, so will run out eventually. Real energy comes out of purpose; if we have no purpose, then where will the energy come from? When we are unknown to ourself or the other, we have no truth about ourselves; we are 'in-valid' (if something is valid it is true); feeling ghostly leads to fatigue and chronic illness and feeling like 'death warmed up'. Being unwell exacerbates all aspects of Ghost. We become increasingly static, ie little movement, which is also characteristic of the ghost.

This is also mixed up with little social understanding that we are meant to be doing something fulfilling with ourselves and our abilities; not just earning money somehow so that we can consume on.

Un-Alive.  (6C1j)

We don't feel alive, which begs the question of what that is, but we are still very afraid of death and will not look at it. Thus we end up living on and on with little life; an irony if ever there was one.

Cynicism and greyness.  (6C1k)

We believe this is what life has to offer; "Life sucks and then you die".  There will be a very bleak outlook on life in the future, or the single hope that a huge lottery win will fix it all, with plenty of spending on that hope.

Ghosts can also be rather cross when others seem to be enjoying themselves. They themselves can often look a bit grey in skin colour, or a bit 'flat' in their facial features. They do like to look for glitter, gloss and sparkle, hoping it will rub off. There is also a tendency to live out of sync with daylight. The living environment/surroundings will be bleak at best, to mess, clutter and rubbish at worst. And there will be plenty of judgement of others, not to mention self-pity. See Sup/Inf above.

No rest.  (6C1l)

All of the above leave us restless with no peace of mind; searching forever, or giving up in despair; we cannot Rest in Peace. RIP is only for the dead.

What's the difference between 'ghost' and depression?  (6C1m)

The difference is probably not great, but the word 'depression' is used in a very general way; hence it is more nebulous, and difficult to get a handle on. The terms in the above list describing the ghost are actually more useful than simply 'depression' because if you make a list of your own opposites to the ghost attributes, you might find something useful for your own purposes.

How do we get to be ghostly?  (7C2)

The lack of Time or Interest in ‘the other’.  (7C2a)

The primary lack is from not enough Time and/or Interest over the long term from the significant people of our childhood. This can also include lack of respect, disregard for needs, being despised or despising, trauma or severe stress (which are all forms of disrespect, really, and abuse is even worse).

Feeling ghostly takes time to develop and can develop at any time through life, but childhood probably contains some, if not most, of the seeds. 

[How do parents give their children time in our current world? And enough for the child, not the parent; ‘quality time' is the adult's words, not the child's.] In our society it is rare for fathers to have any real time or engagement with their children; and I'm talking about actual time here, not nice words to reassure us all that everything's just fine.

I use children as examples here because children know all about the ghost, and will attempt to get your attention by hook or by crook.

Denial and burial  (7C2b)

Denial and burial of the InSelf inside us - 'the other' internally. We are not taught that we have an 'other' 'inside'. Thus, we give neither Time nor Interest to our InSelf. We don't know that we need to do so, but we do. The InSelf is always there regardless of what we may think. If the InSelf is the source of our life force, then if we consider that we have no such InSelf, we are unable to access that life force.

Disdain for the Immeasurable.  (7C2c)

Many important things in Life are immeasurable, as in, difficult or impossible to measure. These include people's personal values, or qualities such as loyalty, friendship, kindness or courage. Our insistence on measuring everything goes hand-in-hand with our devaluation of the in-valuable as value-less. But, we are the ones who are missing out.

To reiterate, we don't actually understand that the immeasurable is more important than the measurable. It doesn't actually show up in what we do, or why we do it.

How do we 'do' Ghost to 'the other'?  (7C3)

·         The more we go on consuming, wanting, wasting, using and abusing the natural world for our own purposes without taking its needs into account, or

·         The more we dismiss 'the other' as they don't count, as in….

·         A waste of time and/or space

·         A terrorist or a Muslim or a 'red under the bed', ie, whatever fashionable term of fear

·         Stupid, 'non-scientific', crazy,

·         Weak, unfit, undeserving, lazy, etc.… or

·         The more we fail to respect our own needs or those of others, or

·         The more we are unable to live our own truths, as in, we dare not face our own warts/sewage because we consider them unacceptable, then,

The more you are doing that to your inner Self.

We can all have fears that we don’t exist, but as we fail to give existence to our internal 'other', we are unable to give that to the external other.

What's the mechanism? Or what is underneath this?  (7C4)

When we feel unknown or unseen by the other, there can be no intimacy (into-me-see). No intimacy means no real Merge either.

Intimacy takes time to develop, to be more deeply aware, and to meet the complete person, not just the mask (the outself), otherwise we will never feel known.

How much time do parents have for their children when both are employed full-time; not to mention the commuting, and definitely not to mention the housework?

If we want whatever, we will put Time and Interest into that.

All of us deeply want to be deeply known by 'an other' and wanted regardless of our 'warts'; ie to be loved 'warts 'n all'. This is what children want from their parents, (although most parents would rather do without the 'warts'). Children know how much they are wanted by the amount of Time and Interest that their parents accord them.

But, as we busily deny and bury these 'warts', the rotten things insist on coming at us from 'out there' because that's what projection is. Our lives are our manifestation of what is inside us. 

Thus if we want others to accept our 'warts', the first thing we need to do is to know and accept them ourselves. This is labelled 'Know Thyself'.

But, as we try to do so, here come all the problems of judgement of self and others, and we don't actually like letting go of those, because our carefully crafted estimation of ourselves is now at risk. But if you are feeling 'ghostly', and are having trouble feeling wanted by others, the idea is to want your InSelf, and that means you will give it your Time and Interest, and that actually does clear the other problem. And, as always, it won't matter whether others do or don't want you if you are happy with your relationship with your InSelf.

The problem of the ghost.  (7C5)

It has lost or is losing contact with the body and it is the body that does the feeling, whether senses or emotions. Hence the ghost cannot feel its own responses or emotions. You can tell you are becoming a ghost through the detachment and loss of feeling, leaving a kind of blankness or nothingness. But, our feelings are our rudders in life. We all need our rudders for working out what repels and what attracts us, and when we don't have them it is much harder to define what is important to us and what we want. Hence, nothing seems to matter.

If the ghost wants to live 'fully', it has to get back to feeling. The business of coming back to life involves learning to feel again, yet that feeling has to include the rotten stuff as well as the good stuff.

The trouble is, we know from experience that if parts of the body have been frozen, damaged or numb they hurt quite a lot when circulation is restored; it's the same for the emotional self. Sometimes the rotten stuff, including regret, sorrow, shame and guilt, has to be cleared first before the good stuff, so, going through this process usually requires external support from a knowledgeable therapist. 'Retrieving our feeling' involves the memory, hence remembering. Not for nothing is remembering spelled re-member-ing.

The ghost fears life because it will have to re-feel (which will hurt) if it wants to come back to it, but it also fears death because of the fear of the unknown, but it cannot use it. This is a 'catch-22' and it gets stuck.

When I say the ghost can't use death to give it life, I'm saying that we can't use the death questions to give us insight into what is truly important or matters to us/ourself simply because we cannot feel the answers at heart.

The secondary advantage.  (7C6)

Why would we allow ourselves to get to this state? Is there any advantage to being a ghost?

The primary problem for the ghost is the loss of feeling, and hence detachment from the body and life, because we've 'shot the messenger'. We repress the feelings to avoid the 'bad' ones and don't realize that as we bury 'the bad', we then lose access to the 'good' ones as well.

Guilt and shame both feel horrible. I defined guilt and shame in Part I (Foundations), with guilt as having done the wrong thing and shame as failing to do the right thing. They can be easily conflated because they essentially feel the same. It's also possible to generate both at the same time for the one deed. But, it's useful to tease them apart. Both of them feel disgusting at the gut with nausea and sinking feelings, and in fact they feel so bad that we bury them as much as possible. I strongly suspect that these are 'the fiery sword', (of the Garden of Eden story - see bottom post) that we won't face. Shame and guilt stop us getting into the Garden.

We don't know what to do with them anyway, but they are major drivers in one's life, especially stuff related to obsession/compulsion. There's not much information about these, or what to do with them. Most books I've read seem to skate over the problem, often by deeming them irrational. This may be so, but it doesn't stop the problem. It just leaves you stuck with the 'irrational' label, which is simply all the more reason to bury them. After all, it is perfectly true that these are subject to our own perceptions, but this is all we have to work with anyway.

The thing is that your thinking/decisions may be based on your experiences in past lives and are possibly perfectly rational, considering what you knew then, ie in the context of that time. It is perfectly possible to go back, sort these out, get the bigger picture, and change your mind (See the Treasure Tool). But this sort of thing is never going to be 'scientific'. This process is about 'memories' that cannot be proved, nor ever will be. The only thing that can be calibrated is your own assessment of the effect of this 'understanding' on your own life, now and in the future.

Shame and Guilt (again).  (7C6a)

Both guilt and shame can be worked with, but guilt is about the past and rectifying shame is about your actions in the future.

The consequence of this is that guilt can be cleared by going back into your past and re-assessing and reviewing your decisions made then, in the light of your present adult capability to overview your patterns of behaviour and attitudes. This is a re-think, which is what 're-pent' means. Usually we find decisions and behaviours in the past that weren't very useful for us, and we would like to change these to something more useful in the future, which we can. It is possible to forgive ourselves for what we have done, and to choose to do things a different way, and the past is finished.

But shame is a real pill because it is about having not done 'the right thing'. Hence the only way to get rid of this horrible feeling is to do the right thing from now on into the future.

Notice that this implies that somehow 'the right thing' is built in to humans, because we get into such trouble when we don't do it, whether we are aware of this or not.

But this means first finding that thing that is 'right' for you to do or live, (with the correct motives) and then, it's doing it. But then, if you don't/can't do that 'right' thing for you, the shame (or even only the 'not-rightness') just sits there like an incubus, and one of the ways to get rid of that feeling is to go back to ghost. Blankness seems like any improvement on shame.

But, as we bury our shame, we will find that…

·         We can't enjoy anything that we do very much - we just stay 'blank',

·         We lose energy - all 'burying' takes our energy and,

·         We become ill, ie, we are 'in-valid', as in, we are unable to live our own truth.

Thus, if you're having trouble doing that 'right' thing for yourself, for whatever reason, there is another fear sitting underneath that, and the risk of death may be one of them, and that fear may be perfectly valid in this day and age. Look what happens to people who try to speak out about corruption or P&C at high levels, or investigative journalists or 'agitators' (or people who are rude about religions, etc) who have 'accidents' or get 'disappeared'; There is in fact quite a lot wrong with our wonderful world, and nothing will happen until we look at what these wrong things are.

And more fear.  (7C6b)

At the deepest level, whatever this fear is, it must be faced, and getting a wise person to help is a very good idea here, and it may take quite a bit of doing as well, as in, treat this fear with a lot of respect.

In the end, that saying of Thomas' about 'what is within you will destroy you if it can't get out' will get you if you can't do the right thing by/for yourself, so you end up stuck between Scylla and Charybdis. But, disintegration because you cannot speak your truth can be worse than death.

This really is very serious stuff, because it can 'kill' you, but it's really about the fact that it is you that has 'killed off' your InSelf. (This all sounds a bit grim, but finding/knowing the desire that brings you D&D will get you to where you want to go. It really is about what you are wanting, and respect for Life/Energy.)

The above seems a terribly long-winded 'explanation' about guilt and shame, but I find them so important and so invidious, and so underestimated. I'm trying to say, do not underestimate their seriousness, and don't think that being dead will stop them either.

There are references in spiritual literatures to 'the wailing and gnashing of teeth' when dead, most of which appears to be used as a threat or glossed over in a hurry, and ignored. But the logic of this UUS is that without a body, ie alive on Earth, it is not possible to ..

a. clear guilt, because you need your memory and feelings to do that, as well as the 'bigger picture' (this is the 're-pent' ie, re-think bit) or

b. execute those 'right things' that are right for you, including express your own truth, so that you can give TISP, and Serve, find TSE, and grow. See Desires.

Hence, these things have to be done while you are alive; you cannot rectify these things when you are dead. Your opportunity is now; and living the half-life of the ghost is pretty dreary anyway.

But, everything is supposed to be OK when you're dead.  (7C5c)

So why doesn't any of this guilt/shame stuff turn up when we communicate with the dead? All those messages through Mediums and Psychics saying they're in a great place and forgiving everyone etc. etc.?

I suspect that none of this rotten stuff about guilt and shame is in the conscious mind at all, but if spirit and soul come together when we are alive, then they are likely to split when we are dead or some variation on this. [It could be the conscious/unconscious (Novak).] The crux here is that most people would not notice, and hence, most people would not notice the lack of the unconscious mind when talking to the dead. After all, it is generally what we do while we are alive. 

The Greek myths of 'the shades' may well contain warnings about what happens to the unconscious part of the mind after we die. Another axiom is 'as above, so below', which also has its intrinsic warning, and is also true because of how Energy works.

It also seems that most people get to 'review' their lives after they have died, so, it's basically, review now while you're alive or later, when you're dead. It's not if, it's when. There is no escape from this, nor is there any advantage in doing so. The courage to face the sewage is what is required. Sewage (unpoisoned) makes the best fertilizer, and then you can grow and 'Flower', which see below under 'Desires'.

Why do I talk about this business of ghost? (7C7)

'Ghost' seems to be a very sweeping statement, but it's actually a very big issue.

It comes about through lack of Time or Interest.

Your Time and Interest together are an energy that intrinsically belongs to you, (it's where your attention/awareness goes) and how you spend that energy is crucial. "Energy goes where your attention flows."

So, where do our Time and our Interest go? Your time and interest are a bit like a budget that you are born with. So, how do you spend it?

In general, most people give T & I because they want it back in some form. They're kind of 'investing' it.

(Money is an important form of energy as is relationships, and some of the terms overlap, but this particular discussion is not about money, although there's nothing like a metaphor or two…..) Fewer people just simply give it away because they like to, but if you love your children and are interested in what they do, that is precisely what you will be doing, just giving them your Time and Interest.

Giving it to get it back is essentially the wrong reason/motive, because it implies lack on your part in the first place, and hence dependence on the return. All spiritual writings warn about any dependence on the external world, simply because it is ephemeral, and can and will change sooner or later, and this includes people. Nor are you meant to depend upon it. As you are dependent, so you will want more control.

You cannot depend upon it/them and essentially 'out there' cannot give you the energy you really need and you will run out.

What matters to your heart? (7C8)

The idea is to give your T&I to what matters most to you at your heart - what you truly love or hold most dear, which means coming back to feelings to find out. This includes knowing what these feelings are and interpreting them correctly.

Pursuing whatever is at your heart because you want it naturally leads to Explore and Express because you will be giving your Life energy to whatever matters most to you. Hence, it is your choosing that makes it matter. (As it matters to you, so it becomes real.) If your heart isn't in it, you will eventually run out of energy. Hence we need to choose what we want rather carefully.

Notice also that it is perfectly possible to give all your T&I to money or power, but these are unlikely to give T&I to you in return. 

Hence, the big question is 'what does your heart want?' and if the answer were obvious, we would all be living in an untroubled world. We consider the answer to be 'love', but although true, it is a 'mind' answer.  The actual question is 'what does love mean to you in your body, and how do you give it?' and clearly, the answer is not obvious and can take some hunting. So, explore on.

The key is when you've worked it out, giving your T&I to it/them will energize you or hearten you in some manner so you will want to give more. But, even then, this is still easy to mix up with the short-term warmth of new relationships or more money, so you still need to watch and see and notice whether these effects are lasting or sustaining.

We want to know we exist.  (7C9)

We want to be seen and heard, to count, to matter and to be real. 'Tell me I am here'. So we spend a great deal of time looking for that attention from the other 'out there'. Think how much we use electronic media, and how much time we spend using it, and what for (see also Hunger/Consume above). So much so that we have very little time for our inner selves. So, we start running out/down, and we can feel it in our body; less energy.

However I suspect that even more than wanting to be seen and heard, is the wish to feel wanted by the other. Although I would add, you will want to be wanted by the other you want; you might not feel so keen if you didn't want that other. But, even so, the way for you to have that feeling is to want your own InSelf and that requires your Time and Interest directed there.

Good manners are also a way that will help you feel wanted by others. Good manners means that you are actually taking the other into account; it's a consideration. Failing to teach manners to children simply leaves these children unwanted by others and excluded sooner or later. Anyone who gives no consideration to others cannot complain if they receive none themselves. (This is where parents (usually the mother) giving 'unconditional love' tends to fall over in its apparent attempt to raise a loved and loving child; it becomes a challenge to other adults to love it too.

As with anything we want from another 'out there', we have to work out how to give that to the inner self 'in here', the InSelf, the 'inner other', in spite of no real idea within society that we have one. The Treasure Tool can help, and has its own chapter further down.

Remember also that the 'inner other' or InSelf = God, Life and Self.

Thus, if we want to matter to others, God, Life and Self have to matter to us. Most people consider these as having no matter or relevance to them at all. But, we become real as we real-ize who is within. We can also notice that even if we think that God does not matter, God has no doubt about that at all, and is not the slightest bit fussed when we think in this way.  That is what She is saying when She says 'I am'.

Conclusion for The Ghost.

The warning here is that if you are experiencing some of the attributes listed for the ghost, the idea is to take notice, and you are likely to need help. And that bit isn't easy either. It's not just the doing of it, it's finding the right person as well. Even having found the right person, the actual process is likely to be neither easy nor comfortable; it never is, but hopefully it will be enthralling and you will find some treasures.

Also, the ghosts that people report seeing/feeling are a (time) part of the soul with no body, ie no matter attached to them., and the ‘hungry ghost’ is one of the Bardos, (Tibetan states of the dead) but I suspect this is a state that is not only occupied by the ‘dead’.

And, strangely enough, Time and Interest are the first 2 letters of TISP = Time, Interest, Sustain and Protect, which is Doing Love. More pieces of Love.

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CLEAN. (7D)

Another requirement for the body (and mind actually) is clean, which we can take for granted in some societies and not in others.

We are still animals and it's just as important for us as well as them to have our bodies and surroundings clean and comfortable. Most of us feel better for a wash, and we don't like bugs. They usually make us uncomfortable - they 'bug' us - and may lead to unease to dis-ease. We can have bugs internally, eg, microbes etc, as well as innumerable external forms. After all, lots of things that 'bug' us give us 'the shits' too.

But we are messing up our environment in spades, and one of those ways is through the generation of super bugs - microbes that can make us super unwell. The point here is that we are not only harming our environment, we are harming ourselves too.

Being 'bugged' can also be extended as a metaphor for the other Energy domains as well, with the implied value in cleaning up those things that 'bug' us mentally and/or in whatever way.

The Treasure Tool is a very useful mental 'de-bugging' device; see below. 

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Conclusion for Fears.

I consider Unsafe, Unfed and Unseen/Unwanted as our 3 greatest fears, and that these fears come from the soul part of us. These fears actually force us to learn what TISP is and to practice it, or else, basically. These fears are like sticks for the donkey to make it move, and so our primary wants are to get rid of these sticks. But without them we are not going to learn TISP. Hence giving TISP is the way that we can address these fears, for our own selves and for others.

TISP is the answer to our soul-less world, and interestingly enough, giving it to your InSelf first is all that is required of you, as in, it is enough. This is a very important point. It may seem entirely selfish to concentrate only upon yourself, but your internal satisfaction and peace are the very things that can help others if that is what they want. In the meantime, you do not have to save the world, because MLs tell us that as you give TISP to your InSelf, so you will be giving TISP to GLS, the outer as well as the inner. This is how energy works.

Notice here also, that there is no point whatsoever in 'escaping' or looking to be 'rescued'. We actually need these fears to teach us about the need for TISP. That's what our mind is for - to work it out, and we will like having worked it out because God did. Neither do the fears 'go away'; they provide the contrast with TISP and must always be respected. They are powerful and make us careful about what we do and think and why.

The whole point about defining out our fears so carefully is that it is much easier to spot what's going on if we have names for them and can separate them out. Naming them makes it much easier to address them and thus to face them if we know which bit of TISP is missing. But it's not very easy to address them when they're all mixed up together.  See also Chapter 5, Judging. (5D9)

The trap about our fears is that they seem to be existential which they are, and common to all, so that they appear to be just too big for us, so it's better not to look. The trouble is that some of the causes of these fears are bigger than we are as individuals, but not if we have a common and proper understanding of what humanity actually needs which is what this book is about. But we still cannot get any sort of handle on them if we just run away (or are angry) and blame 'fate' or whatever.

However much our fears seem to be 'caused' by something outside us, they are also our own fears and not exactly the same as other people's, ie, their manner and expression is individual to you. Thus, we still need to address our own fears for ourself, and the message here is that it is worth it; 'in spades', you might say. As we run away and refuse to look at them, our minds are turned off because we are afraid, and then we can be herded like sheep. This makes us 'sheople', which entirely fits in with what big business would like, which is to just do as we're told. See Feudalism below.

Your only way to really grow is to face your fears, which is what this UUS is all about, and why it is worth doing so.  Facing them requires courage, because they do feel like dragons, but we can learn to do that too, especially if there are good reasons to do so. All of us have faced fears as we have grown up; just different ones for different people; some more, and some less.

We learn how to handle problems, and go on to develop abilities and skills, and as we do so, our confidence increases, which helps us to explore and express, and face more fears and so on….

The other thing that comes with facing our fears and finding the 'fertilizer/treasure', is that it is much easier to find alternatives to the things that we think are trapping us. It busts down the walls of our prisons and opens our horizons. The treasures underneath our fears become our resources and make us stronger for ourselves.

Understanding that it is our fears that actually teach us about TISP gives us purpose and point for our benefit as we are alive. This is the key to being able to face our fears and find out what is underneath them, because all dragons have treasure piled up under them and we want the treasure.

It is in facing our fears that we get to our desires, but it is our desires that give us the reason to face our fears. So, what are our essential desires?

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